How To Define Your Relationships

So, there’s this person. You guys started talking at the last get- together held by the ‘Evangelical team’ at church.

He’s amazing – that’s what you always say to your friends when they ask about the ‘fine brother’ you were discussing with.

You’re just friends,you say, but you know deep down somewhere, that the ‘something more’ required to make you more than friends, or that has made you more than friends, exists somewhere in your friendship. You’ve only decided to ignore it.

You’re beginning to get butterflies in your tummy and you know you should watch out. But, you don’t want to, because you’d rather continue to fantasize about what doesn’t even exist, and you are JUST FRIENDS.

This conclusion, is one that is very easy to arrive at, depending on what you choose to believe, or what you want to accept. Defining friendships is not an easy task. It takes being willing to accept whatever ‘true’ definition you get at the end, especially when feelings are beginning to get involved.

Sometimes, it isn’t actually the fear of getting a broken heart that makes defining friendships difficult, it is the fear of losing that friendship. However, that doesn’t have to happen. You just have to be really mature about your choice of words and approach. As much as you have to be careful, so you don’t cut across as wanting something the other person doesn’t want, you also have to be willing to accept the way things turn out.

It’s very easy to assume and decide to leave things the way they are, even when it is quite obvious that things are not the way they should be.

So, what to do?

1. Whenever a comment is made, or a discussion that you don’t feel comfortable with is brought up, do well to ask immediately, the reason for it.

2. Ask questions on your relationship status with people. Don’t assume.

3. Don’t be scared of what the outcome will be, or what the answers to your questions will be.

4. Be straight, say exactly what you mean.

Assumptions never get you anywhere, only keep you flying in castles that have probably never existed.

Akinleye Temiloluwa

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