6 categories of people you would meet at a Nigerian ATM point

Image credit: naij.com

1. The Pros
These are the real MVPs. Whether they are making a withdrawal of #500 or #20,000. They get to the machine and in split seconds you hear the pararara sound of the machine trying to dispense cash. When you have these guys in front of you on the queue, all you need to do is just thank God. You won’t spend the whole day trying to withdraw money.

That you’re such an MVP moment!


2. The Moneybags
These ones are almost like the pros except that they came with the mindset to drain the machine. One typical characteristic about these people is that they come with big bags or some times nylon bags (which they reveal the moment it’s their turn to withdraw). They just keep on withdrawing until most times the machine can no longer dispense cash and leave the rest of the people on the queue in confusion as to where to start from in search for an ATM that dispenses cash.

When you are next in line to withdraw but the money bag has withdrawn all the money


3. The resource wasters.
These ones can double into any category but their major characteristic is that they like to waste resources.
They are the ones that would request for receipt from the machine and then throw it in the bin immediately.
Like, if you didn’t need it, why did you request for it?

To be honest, many times they are the ones that look very glamorous and supposed to be intelligent.

Aftet requesting for receipt from the machine and the resource waster immediately throws it into the bin


4. The Russians
Okay, that was a joke! They aren’t literally Russians but they behave like what we have been conditioned to believe about Russians. They just like to rush. They are in two categories. The one that joins in the queue and in 1 minute he’s shouting and complaining about every and anyone. The other type is the one who comes and immediately requests for a permission to join the queue at the front as he/she needs to attend to something urgently. Fear them!

Kuku kill all of us that are on the line now. Abi?


5. The Humble Novice.
These ones don’t know how to operate the machine but aren’t too proud to ask for help from the people around.
Sometimes, they can be very annoying with the serial questions they pose at whoever volunteers to help by overall, they are relatively good people to have on the queue because if they are rich enough, they can slip a thousand into the hands of whoever helped them out.

Thank God you have the sense to ask


6. The ITK Novice
This is obviously the worst category. These ones don’t know and wouldn’t ask. Just call them the problem of Nigeria because that’s who they really are. After spending like 5 minutes perambulating around the ATM functions and someone decides to help, sometimes, they even insist they know. Until the people on the queue take to shouting most times, they never accept their inadequacy and are quick to blame it on the bank for providing dysfunctional ATMs.

Cant you be humble enough to ask??

So, what category to you fall into?

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