One major reason why we engage in conversations is to create bonds, but sometimes, we just don’t get it.
Should we then blame ourselves, Maybe not! But it would be imperative that moment we come to the knowledge of what we lack the ability to do, we then take initiative to learn how to handle such situations.
I am in no way a master of conversations. In fact, I still make my own mistakes but over time, I’ve learnt a few principles of creating conversations that have in turn become life long relationships for me.
From Instagram / Twitter DMs to online chats and Skype sessions, these tips would definitely come in handy.
1. Don’t start what you can’t finish.
I somehow wish this wasn’t in the list but I’d be a bad person not to include it. Are you tired, hungry, frustrated or just sad. I think it’s better you don’t start a convo at all. It’s better than starting with no idea of ultimately engaging the person to the end
So I’d prefer you just focused on getting better than just bore the other party.
2. Stop the one way answers.
It’s supposed to be a conversation and not question and answer session. Even in Q & A sessions, the guest still gives detailed answers when asked questions. Go beyond answering Yes, No or Maybe! Explain why, when or where. You can even tell a personal experience.
It’s so much stress conversing with people who just give one way answers.
3. Savour the moment
The same way you savour that plate of ewa agoyin [beans] and bread regardless of where you are and what you’re wearing is the same way you should enjoy the current convo. It is good to have an idea of some of the questions you want to ask the person especially when it’s a session with a mentor or a celebrity but I’d advise that you just write them down before the session and keep them till later. When you feel you’re out of questions, you could peep into your book or sheet of paper and keep the vibe up! What this does is that it keeps you locked into enjoying the current moment of the conversation without thinking of the best way to construct the new question.
This is easier for an introverted person rather than one who is used to doing the talking but for the sake of the person you’re having the chat with, please devote time to listen. Even if the person is not too engaging at first, give them some time and premium attention, they would open up. I wouldn’t want to leave a conversation knowing all about you without you having a bit of what my life looks like.
5. Please be simple.
This applies more during your introduction.
I’d rather you introduce yourself as Bolu, the business man than as Bolu the multimillionaire son of Dangote who had received the Nobel Peace prize before age 20 and emerged as world best seller in 2 days.
I know that’s an extreme situation but to be honest, talking about all your achievements in a bid to introduce yourself can put you off as being arrogant and can intimidate the other person. This hinders the flow of the conversation and can ultimately have a bad effect on the relationship you’re trying to build. sometimes, people do this unknowingly but its always easily noticed by the other person
I would like to add that a bit of show of emotions here and there during the convo wouldn’t hurt but don’t over do it. Smile when necessary, laugh when necessary too, some awwwwww and ahhhh when needful too can give the person a feeling that you’re interested in the conversation.
So, try these tips and let me know how your conversation goes in the comment box below.
I wish you all the best in your conversations.